Have We Eclipsed Yet?

Can we blame that so many Americans are at each other’s throats on an event that hasn’t happened in America for about almost 40 years? The Solar Eclipse will happen on Monday in America. It is an event where the moon completely blocks the sun. Forget getting killed or arrested at a protest event. Now you can go blind if you simply look up at the sky when this odd thing is happening in the sky. The eclipse will cross the entire continental United States. That should put all the barn yard animals in a state of confusion because it will be 2 in the afternoon and for a while it will look like night is falling.

Do I have time to take a nap? I like to sleep at night. Will happy hour start at the bars at 2 in the afternoon too? It is expected that millions of Americans will see it and then possibly go blind because they didn’t have those flimsy cardboard glasses on. The event will pass right over the middle states in America. Probably all the states Hillary didn’t bother to visit much during the campaign and we all know how that ended for her. Like the Trump supporters from those middle states the eclipse could be very dangerous too. Look directly at the sky during the event can cause blindness. The primary risk is what optometrists call eclipse blindness or burns on your retinae caused by the intensity of the light. The powerful intensity of the light surrounding the black looking moon can literally cook your eyes.

Do we really need to look at the sky now? Do we need the radiation from the intense light to cook our eyes? I think I will skip this one and wait for another 40 years or so for it to happen again. They do have those cardboard glasses specifically manufactured for this event so that you can look up in the sky without harming your eyes. So when your eyes are in danger of literally being cooked, nothing makes you feel better than “inexpensive cardboard”!

The frightful day gets better because Amazon has recalled “potentially hazardous” solar eclipse glasses. It is not like the government sent a bunch of glasses to every house hold like they send their political vote for me junk mail, most Americans don’t even have the cardboard glasses. It was the efficient ones that did order the cardboard from Amazon and now they are defective? Does Obamacare cover blindness? Trumpcare probably didn’t cover anyone anyway. So, on Monday will half of America go blind? To find out if the glasses you ordered are fine, put them on and look at the eclipse and “see” what happens! Sigh!

If you are blinded well then just send them back to Amazon for a full refund. That’s it. You are on your own. Anybody selling canes and seeing eye dogs yet? At least more dogs will get jobs in middle America. Do we really need any more darkness to descend on our country? Maybe people will stop protesting just to go blind. God Bless us All!