Sunday, January 1, 2017

New Laws in 2017

As soon as you are sober it is time to realize what new laws go into effect for 2017. Part of your New Year’s resolutions should be to remain free from prosecution for something.  The problem is that laws can be dramatically different from state to state meanwhile you are not even sure if you have driven into a different state if you miss the road sign while driving welcoming you into the new state. Here are some new laws across the country that you need to know about.
In California it is now illegal to use or hold cell phones or small electronic devices while driving. Devices will now have to be mounted on the dashboard or placed in the console while driving. Drivers must use hands free technology.
Good News is that millions of workers will receive a raise in their pay checks now.  18 states will be raising their minimum wages
In Nevada they legalized recreational marijuana. Imagine what those Casinos will smell like now. It is one of four states that decided to end prohibition.
In California there will be an extended ban on assault weapons now.  
A number of states have passed new laws to doctors to limit the number of opiates they can prescribe in pills to their patients or they are to limit the potency of the pills they prescribe.
People will have access to medical marijuana now in North Dakota, Florida, Arkansas and Montana. In Michigan medical dispensaries will finally gain  legal status years after thy approved the opening of medical dispensaries.
In California the right to rescue act will make it legal for good Samaritans to break into hot cars to save pets and children or the elderly from the heat as long as you call the authorities first.
In   California drinks can be served in barber shops and salons as long as they don’t charge you for the alcoholic beverage.
People in Oregon will not be allowed to release the paper lanterns lit with candles inside  into the air for safety reasons.  
In Illinois   you will be able now to catch cat fish with a spear or bow and arrow or yes even a pitch fork.
Tinted windows will have to allow 70% of light to pass inside the vehicle.
Funeral homes can now serve snacks and non-alcoholic beverages.
The tax on gas for vehicles   will be rising by at least 7 cents per gallon.
Car registration will cost you at least 20% more in 2017.
Owners of hybrid’s will be paying a 47 dollar fee in addition to the 20% increase to register the car.
Electric car owners will have to also pay an additional $125 in fees added to the other costs.
After paying all those fees the medical marijuana legal law doesn’t seem so bad so pass me a brownie.
So here we are just one day into the New Year and my head is spinning from realizing that the country wll soon be full of all pot heads unable to afford to drive a good energy efficient car but I can catch a cat fish with a pitch fork and get booze at my haircut. Sigh!

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