Saturday, October 15, 2011

Why a white dress wedding? If you are in deep love and are thinking about marriage especially hopefully your first and only marriage, start planning now in October for June because you’ll need lots of money and make lots of decisions. I have two single daughters and I wonder if someday there will be a wedding day for them.
Having some discussions, asking if they will be wearing a white dress is a big topic these days that once was the only definite at a wedding. The bride wears white that is how you know who she is ? Right? The royal wedding had the bride Kate Middleton and the bridesmaid both in white. Some weddings have everyone in white guys and girls ! I’m confused. Just live together and forget about it. Never!
Forget about the color, how about the price? Weddings cost a fortune these days. They are expensive to throw and they are expensive to attend. I have a relative that was getting married in Greece. They sent me suggestions for hotels to stay at and rental car places and airlines, It would cost about $5,000 for me to attend and I have 5 other family members to take along too. I love these people but I don’t need that much of a hole in my financial pocket. Never mind we’ll go anyway. I forgot I have to give a gift too!
A wedding invitation is a bill written in calligraphy! Weddings are big business. My wife is a church organist and weddings keep her busy. Weddings generate over $50 Billion dollars per year. Every celebrity is constantly filming their wedding and making a entire reality show out of the extravanza. Most recently Kim Kardashian and the old guy from Kiss the 80’s rock band.
The average American wedding costs $27,000 meanwhile the average American earns only $32,000. How will you live this year? On what? The average wedding dress NOT including veil and shoes cost $1,100. Do the math ladies. Do you really want to do this kind of day? Of Course, we wouldn’t have it any other way!
Then there are the advice gurus. The Bride Magazines and the advice TV shows. Shows like “Whose Wedding is it Anyway?” which is nothing about but excess. Also, “Bridezillas” which is just nonsense of everything going wrong like everyone isn’t nervous enough we have to view this stupid junk.
What about this expensive white dress? Well, I did some research and this tradition goes back to the British when Queen Victoria wore white when she got married in 1840 to her yes! Cousin Albert. You heard about the royal interbreeding? Well, that is true! It was more an ostentatious display and had nothing to do with virginity.
At that time white fabric was rare and even if you had white fabric , it was impossible to clean and remain vibrant white. So, a white wedding dress demonstrated wealth or just money. Not much has changed I guess! Queen Victoria also wore white lace as a advertisement because she wanted to stimulate the lace industry in England. So, it was worn to be more patriotic than pure. Who is pure these days anyway?
Shopping for the dress is an event. Multiple girls go at once I guess just to confuse things. Why? Because it is really the one ridiculously priced dress you’ll ever buy in your life to be used for just one occasion. The only other item that will get the exact same attention will be shopping for the coffin for your funeral!
So, go to the store Kleinfeld where they shoot the TV show “Say Yes to the Dress” and announce your wedding dress wish list. Nothing strapless everyone doesn‘t need to see your bouncing breasts, nothing big or frilly like a princess, and nothing that cost more than your first wedding gown. So, that leaves nothing lets call the whole thing off! You love each other anyway. Have some burgers and Blue Moon Beer!
Just get something your Mom would love. The event is for the parents to look at their children and say we did a good job raising that kid and he and she are beautiful, well adjusted and will provide us with talented healthy grandchildren. Poof the dream is over!

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