This Weekend

It is time for America’s drinking holiday. On Super Bowl Sunday it is a Sunday where we don’t necessarily worship our God in church but we do celebrate our players on the football field and worship our bad foods and extensive drinking and betting because we can. We have an excuse. The game. Football makes America great again because it unifies the races. White and black players hug each other like they are brothers on and off the field. We have football heroes like handsome Tom Brady who already has a Championship ring for every finger on one hand. We get to see that lucky bastard start winning rings for his other hand tomorrow as he strives for six Super Bowl wins. . Tom Brady is the example of the America everyone envy’s. He has his wealthy super model wife and his beautiful young children too. He even has all the referees calling plays his way and has emerged from ball gate throwing deflated balls last year. Americans put that aside and just want to drink and be happy. You know, like the Trump supporters who only see the good in that man too.  

They estimate that millions of chicken wings will be consumed during the game. America likes their sports drinking holiday because it is uniquely wonderful. Sure we drink on News Year Eve but you have to dress up for that party and you end up feeling sad over all the crappy things that happened over the past year. Sure we drink on Saint Patrick’s Day but you have to find something green to wear, feel a little guilty for drinking on a Saint’s Day   and only the Irish can really drink with pride. So, Super Bowl Sunday has to be America’s First great drinking holiday.

This year there is a new drink you should probably try or just avoid depending on how daring you are. It is called LUCID and it is a product from France known as Absinthe Superieure that is made from neutral spirits distilled with herbs with additional herbs added. If you don’t want that beer belly and expect to feel tipsy quickly, this is your drink of choice. It is a green bottle of booze. It is a powerful green color of liquor. People call it The Green Fairy for its reputation for causing hallucinations. The hit movie called Girl’s Trip had Queen Latifa, Tiffany Hadish and Jada Pinket reacting to the weird booze.

You probably haven’t heard of this drink because the drink is so strong that it   was banned in the United States for 95 years until it became legal in 2007. You will get drunk very fast with this drink. After just one shot you will feel the impact. Sure when you will be eating wings and pizza why not drink this stuff and feel your eyes water, your throat burn and your heart race. The after taste is like liquorish similar to Green Chartreuse. Yellow Chartreuse is a bit milder at about 50% alcohol.  There is a distillery in Brooklyn, New York called Doc Herson’s  where they make the booze and Kevin Herson is the co-owner of the place. It is 66% straight alcohol. Experts suggest that you dilute the booze with ice because of its potency that can rise to 144 proof.  

It is estimated that over a million people will go to see Super Bowl events in the area of Minneapolis. Minnesota this weekend paying super high prices for even bad hotel rooms. But who cares about clean when you are there to dress down and drink and eat excessively anyway. It is America’s past time. A $90 dollar per night stay at a Days Inn suddenly rises to $900 per night charge with no regulations on these inflated prices. Super 8 Motels are charging $550 per night for Super Bowl Weekend. The Windham Group owns these chains and say that franchise owners can charge whatever they want. So let’s get ready for Super Bowl Sunday!