Friends

Friends. Who needs them? Are they just a waste of time? Hell, No. Some describe life without friends like a Christmas tree without decorations. You gotta have both. Just look at a bunch of girls and you will find some lasting friendships there. GIRLS stand for Gee I Really Love Shopping anyway and shopping is usually the excuse for a group of girlfriends to get together .

What makes them friends? Well if they can get together and just accept each other for who they are or simply get along, then they are friends. A group of friends are people that will listen when you need to vent about something bothering you. Someone you can complain about your husbands or wives or children to; complain about the people that drive you crazy but still love and won’t part with. Yet.

They are NOT friends if you find out that your deepest personal secrets are being told all over town. There must be a code of ethics amongst friends in order to become a friend. Studies have shown that friends can literally help you shoulder a burden. At the University of Virginia a group of graduate students and their Psychology Professor Dennis Proffet demonstrated things are more attainable with the support of a friend. They were told to walk up a steep hill with a heavy backpack on. Those who had to do it alone found it too difficult. Those who did it with a friend had far less a struggle with the task. One is less strong when left alone.

In fact many studies have shown that people with a circle of friends tend to be healthier and live longer lives but scientists still don’t know exactly why. A study proved that while holding the hand of a friend during a stressful situation anticipating some danger or pain, triggered the parts of the brain that senses danger. It were less active with the support from a friend.

So the burden of dealing with life’s stresses is so much harder without the help of a friend. It is more exhausting to be alone and literally creates more wear on your body. A poll determined that more than 90 % of people said it is important to have close friends. But what happens when relationships go sour and you have trouble with your friends as depicted in the 2004 film called Mean Girls? When there are problems, you need to solve them or make the decision that the friendship is not worth keeping.

Psychologist Irene Levine has become the Dear Abby of friendship and wrote a book about breaking up with friends called Best Friends Forever; surviving a breakup with your best friend. I wonder if she had a problem with her best friend that made her have the desire to write this book? Now she also has a “friendship blog” called The Friendship Blog where she answers questions from some 200 countries. I guess people have problems with so called friends all over the world.

She gets questions like, “My friend dumped me at work, should I keep hanging on to hope?” It must be very hard when you have to face someone in the office everyday that you were friends with and are no longer friends anymore. I need to know if men and women can be close friends without sex? Most women never let another woman be her husband’s best friend probably to the, It will lead on to a sexual relationship thing. A poll said that 84% of people said yes. So, good that means men are not just being led by their penis. In fact men with their guy pals have a much more laid back approach to their men with men friendships. It is more like just having 4 guys for a golf team or 5 guys for a basketball team or 8 guys for baseball. You just need guys around sometimes.

Women are more intimate and personal with their friends, men just like a pal to pal around with. Bottom line for men and women or any combination of friend, we all need someone to accept us, love us for who we are and be able to share our deepest thoughts with each other no matter what they are. A friend is who you even share your fears with. Men are too competitive to share fears with their pals so, it is a more shallow relationship.

You just need a friend you can count on. Do you keep in touch with your childhood friends? Well, thanks to Facebook 77% said yes and 22% said no.