Friday, January 25, 2013

prince harry naked

What was the top 10 things you can remember about this past year 2012? It did represent a piece of your life that you survived somehow and you should spend a moment to just take a brief glance back to reflect on what the media has taught us besides nothing.

10. Honey Boo Boo managed to beat the GOP Convention in ratings that night. Yes, more Americans’ were interested in her reality show than to try to get to know more about the next possible President of the United States. Sounds sad but after you look at all the wacky things her family does, you see a group of people that basically love each other. We all need dysfunctional love too.

9. The Gangnam Style Korean dance video became then most watched video of all time. It had 984 MILLION views. Ok, yes you can see it as many times as you want to for free but still, get a life people even after seeing him hop around millions of times you still can’t understand a word he is singing. What is Gangnam anyway? Let’s make up new words too. If Al qaeda made a video like this, we might like them too.

8. Snooki had a baby and all of a sudden who cares about the Jersey Shore Gang. In fact a storm even destroyed the real shore of Jersey too. The gang’s fist pumps were replaced by a boring girl with a baby bump. See how women change once they get pregnant? Once she got engaged, MTV announced that the TV show is going off the air. The ratings plummeted and now the cast has perfumes named after them and are planning spin off shows. Face it, we only liked to see them get drunk and fight. Can you believe that someone had unprotected sex with that tiny girl?

7. That series of three books Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James even had my wife looking for stuff on the piano. And Barbara Walters even mentioned wanting to get tied up and do stuff too. A cash filled credit card for a day of shopping used to be enough to get a woman off. I think the success of these sexy books were that they were released as E books first so all the women could secretly read them first. I think it is the most boring book ever and I don’t get what was so exciting. Ok. he is a billionaire and handsome. I guess that is all it takes lately to put a woman over the edge.

6. This was the year to see the Royal Jewels. Yes, Prince Harry was screwing up royally by turning up naked in Vegas. Photographer’s also saw Kate Middleton topless in France. We kind of can expect that from wild Harry but we did not expect that straight laced new bride to go freestyle. I respect her better now. More importantly, those British people are not olive skinned and can not take the hot sun on their privates so they should cover up in the future.

5. Lindsay Lohan should be famous for making movies but she was famous all year long for doing anything but making movies. Enough about her. No, number 5 should be about another lost singing diva, Whitney Houston. We should have learned to watch more carefully after the death of another talented singer Amy Winehouse. We do not want to witness the death of our divas. It is not shocking that people who smoke crack overdose.

4. General Petraeus betrayed us. Who cares that he had an extramarital affair. What we do care about is that this idiot couldn’t even cover it up meanwhile he is in charge of one of the most secretive agencies of our government, the CIA. This boring looking guy just followed his erect penis and never closed the doors behind him and now he has no wife and no job. His mistress found out that the affair was exposed at her 40th birthday party alongside her husband. This is soap opera material.

3. This was the year for big celebrity break ups. It just proves that marriage is definitely not for forever anymore especially when couples like 68 year old Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman leave their marriage after 30 years. Have you seen those beauties? They belong together. Who would marry that? Other big named breakups included Heidi Klum and Seal as well as Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.

2. Ok, Lindsay Lohan needs another shout out just for all her different looks every time she appeared in court. We didn’t have to rent a move just watch the nightly news and we got a dose of her. What was amazing is that Charlie Sheen gave her $100,000 dollars and she didn’t even thank him. How about a reality show staring the both of them?

1.The number one story of 2012 is the unmitigated disaster that was Mitt Romney. His legacy was the memory of him writing off 47% of Americans at the secretly taped speech at a fundraiser. He also had binders full of women and who can forget the dog on the roof of his car at 60 mph. More importantly where is the Republican party now? Who will be their new leader?
Notice there is not one memorable story about a single inventor, peace world leader or scientific innovator. I blame the media that shoves the stupidest information at us daily.

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