It is always difficult to have to loose someone in your life that at one time you thought you were connected to in some way. Friendship is a very personal thing. Deciding to make someone your friend is a big decision because you separate that person from the crowd and before you know it, you have let them know things about your personal life that you probably would never let a casual acquaintance know. Therefore a trust builds and you are happy to have each other until there is a breach in confidence. Then all turns sour.

You know it is over when you suddenly discuss things that you have never discussed before like a person’s accent. That never really came into the conversation before and even at that, it was probably revered in some way. Now in hate mode, someone says ,”And I hate your accent too!” Then we have entered the land of not only is this friendship over, I hate your core too. Yes, we enter the place to hate even as far as your origins and heritage. It is a terrible place to be because now you are a racist.

I am from the north spending half of my life in Queens, New York. It is a very unique place because it had the feel of a small town where most people knew of or at least knew of a person or family. It is even harder to forget because the TV shows I watched didn’t allow me to forget the place. There was the show called All In The Family where even the image of the boxy homes lined down the block looking identical except for an accessory or change of color was identical to the streets I grew up on.

Everybody Loves Raymond had a family that could have mirrored my early adulthood. My wife and I bought the house across the street from one of our parents. Even the show Ugly Betty showed how easy it was to go from that middle class environment and with a bus ride or a few stops on the train instantly brought you to the excitement of Manhattan.

There was a sitcom, The King of Queens that let you see the landmark sculpture of the hemisphere that is in Flushing Meadow Park where 2 World’s Fairs was a happening in Queens, New York. Some of these sitcoms were on in prime time for over 10 years and now in reruns, you can’t get away from them even if you tried. One of the most famous was The Nanny where in the opening song they sing that she was from Flushing , Queens.

I also went to a what I thought was a pretty boring College simply called Queens College where i achieved a degree in Economics. I have learned that not only I but pretty famous entertainers also benefited from a degree from that place. They were a little older than I but they went there. People like comic Joy Behar, singers like Carole King and Paul Simon, Art Garfunkel graduated from Queens College. In Carole Kings new book called “A Natural Woman A Memoir” she fondly recalls the boroughs nearby.

Carole says, “ A remarkable number of kids of our generation who attended high schools in Brooklyn and Queens went on to achieve success in music, film, TV, etc. “ Barbara Streisand, Lady Gaga, the Time After Time awful accented singer Cyndi Lauper, Mel Brooks, Allen King, Neil Diamond just to name a few came from the Brooklyn /Queens area so it hurts to have to defend my roots and accent to someone I thought was a friend. It doesn’t help when she comes from a completely different background.

In our recent bouts of spite, malice and revenge she sent me this: “You think Southerners are good at football, cooking, eating and lying? Try revenge. We excel at this trait. An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.” “When you see a sweet Southern grandmother, just remember, she keeps her revenge right below that gentle drawl.” “Revenge may be a dish best served cold, but in the south, it don’t get cold that often, so we serve it up hot with a side order of chicken fried pickles.”

“The revenge buffet serves payback pie, gittin’ yers salad, retributin' beef, what goes around casserole, just desserts, karma-candied yams and sweet revenge” Well, with all that southern flair, it only made me hungry. Sometimes it is just best to leave gracefully and not try to ruin the very essence of a person. Good Bye my friend. What an ass.