Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Save your Marriage by cheating! That’s not what they told me anywhere else in my life but now it seems to be a popular thought. What does it mean anyway? If I see all the weirdoes out there I’ll come rushing back to my spouse? Cheating used to be the path to disaster and the road to being single again.
There is even a web site out there called Ashley that urges people to cheat on their husbands or wives. Some people believe that this type of behavior actually helps marriages?? Women go to it because they don’t feel special anymore. They are so involved in the care of their children, household, and their paying jobs that at the end of the day they are exhausted but haven’t had excitement. They miss the heart beating from a relationship rather than the conversation of life’s challenges.
In the first hour women reported that they received about 100 contacts. Men are pigs. Then if they are courageous they can easily narrow it down to about 12 men of interest. I’m exhausted already just writing about this stuff. Of course her husband knows nothing about this. The women usually tell no one but the men will probably tell a buddy what he is up to. Women are embarrassed, men are boastful that is among other men. They don’t tell their wives anything.
Why do this? Well women don’t want to leave their marriages, they do not want to raise their children alone, they don’t want their kids to go to their dad’s place on weekends. Women still want the same family structure that they created for each other. However, they still need to be happy at the same time and miss the excitement of dating. As a result, she is happy, will not nag her husband and will be more patient with the children.
What happened to the affairs with the soccer coach or the UPS guy or the mail man? You know, traditional affairs. Actually, an affair with someone in your community can be much more risky. Imagine your kids on the same sports teams as the person you are seeing in bed? You would have to be very good actors to remain anonymous.
Logan Levkoff is the author of the book, “How To Get Your Wife To Have Sex With You.” She is a sex educator who strongly disagrees with the philosophy promoted on this website. She believes that enhancing the emotional and physical sexual health of a couple must be worked on constantly. Sites like Ashley Madison takes away from personal accountability and integrity. It shows no respect for your spouse.
Infidelity now affects one out of every three couples. People do not sign up for marriage to be unhappy. However, no one needs to be lied to. We don’t talk, we hide behind each other’s backs and we betray. That doesn’t serve anyone at the end of the day either. Even if you discussed your needs to your spouse, there is nothing more exciting than a new penny vs. the old nickel at home. The titillation of something new is enticing.
Then there is the concern and problem of STD’s, the sexually transmitted diseases we all have to be careful of. In a monogamous marriage many spouses do not even use protection anymore, they are clean and safe with each other and the sexual trust they vowed to have.
The Ashley Madison website boasts 12 Million members in 17 countries.

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