Sunday, May 22, 2011

Sex and Violence. It used to be forgiven and hidden, not any more, the girls are talking. It started in 2009 when rap artist Chris Brown pelted singing artist Rhianna in a car on the way to an awards show. You don’t beat your girl on a night you have to be somewhere and everyone will be looking for her. And then the pictures were released where she hardly looked like herself. Prize fighters don’t look as bad as she did.
Now Cheryl Burke one of the dancers on the popular show Dancing With The Stars has written a book about her life and all the abuse she has gone through at all ages all from the hands and penises of men. She was outraged when Chris Brown performed on her show. It rightfully so, enraged her to see an abusive man getting applause.
This guy showed his rage again after an interview on the morning show Good Morning America where he wrecked a room and broke windows after the interview where they asked him if he was sorry! He should be the last person to exhibit an angry tirade. No wonder there was outrage when he shortly after that goes on a popular dancing show.
Cheryl was particularly outspoken because she suffered from many abusive men in her relationships. She details her abuse in a new book written by her called Dancing Lessons. She wrote it so women could really relate to her experiences. She does not want society to ignore what has happened.
She says she went through 2 relationships that were both verbally and physically abusive. She reveals that she was molested as a child. She regrets coming from a divorced family. She believes that her young life mishaps led her to controlling men not really knowing her worth and her value. All this abuse led only to her high school years. High school girls already are in relationships with aggressive men.
A girl should not feel that her life is at risk in her teen or in any years as she felt. Upon learning of the abuse Rhianna took, brought all her sadness back. At the time of Rhianna’s pain, there were stories that they were trying to reconcile as Chris was begging for forgiveness. There can never be forgiveness for disrespecting another human after you make love to them. Only remembrance and space should be allowed.
Eventually they did break up and she pressed charges and a restraining order was placed on him. This affected his career in that he was not allowed to be at events that she decided to attend. Hard for him since they are both in the singing entertainment business. Just recently she agreed to have the restraining order lifted because she said, “It was a personal thing and she did not want to have an impact on his personal career.” Somehow Cheryl understands this logic.
Is this like a prostitute that always goes back to their pimp? These girls have achieved their own place in society, they do not have to take repeated abuse. Cheryl says,” I went back, it was really hard to get out of my relationship. I felt like I was nobody without that person in my life. That person made me feel like that. Now I realize the best thing is to get out and talk openly about the abuse.”
He feels he served his time, get over it. How do you deal with this guy? He still has a music career, and still has public violent tendencies. Although it has been 2 years, he should always be ready for questions because now it is part of his life. As is the abuse stated in Cheryl’s book. He will always have the assault conviction on his record.
He has to be prepared for the questions and not act violently again. He apologized but it will not be considered sincere. Brown said, “I’m disappointed in the way I acted.” Cheryl is always seeking therapy and has had gentler relationships lately. Her main focus is to have more respect for herself.
Don’t keep secrets. Tell others of your abuse. It was hard for her because she had to smile and dance the next day as if nothing was wrong. It can be really dangerous and life threatening. Are there any nice guys in the news lately?

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