Who are you seeing?  The Superbowl was last night.  Many of you tried to find a sports bar to go to, to get into the fun of the evening.  Some of you were interested in a hookup.  What do people want in their relationships lately.  Look around.  Things are different now. Findings show men are more interested in love, marriage and children than their peers in earlier times; women want more independence in their relationships than their mothers did; and hooking up and one-night stands aren’t necessarily meaningless sexual encounters.

A major survey of more than 5,000 men and women reveals that there is a large change in gender expectations.  This online survey of singles aged 21 and older by  Market-Tools for Match.com revealed that both genders “want it all” but now in different ways. The girls want their “night out” with the girls and there is a large group of “homebody men” who just want to stay home with their main squeeze.   Data show men are quicker to fall in love and more likely than women to want children.  And, across every age group, women want more independence than men in their relationships.  These are new role overlaps.

Kathleen Gerson, a sociology professor at New York University says there is “a blurring of gender boundaries.”  She wrote a new book on these issues being published in March.

The Unfinished Revolution: Coming of Age in a New Era of Gender, Work, and Family.  She notes, “Men and women are looking for similar assets and are not judging a potential partner on the basis of gender-related traits- that a woman is looking for a paycheck object or a man is looking for a sex object.  They’re both looking for the whole package, more so than in the past.” 

Women want their “space” now. They make good money and want a man when they want him.  Years ago, a woman was there for their man 24/7. Not anymore.  Thanks to the sexual revolution in the 70’s, women are independent, self-sufficient professional independently minded well grounded beings that don’t necessarily need a man other than for sex and a good shoulder to lean on occasionally.  Women don’t even feel sad anymore if they go to dinner alone, they can read a good book during the salad.

Men are still caught up in the “love at first sight” syndrome. Yes, ladies you gotta look good and if there is a great brain in there, we got the jackpot.  We can fall in love with a friend to the amount of 70%.  After some great conversation or shared interests, we’re hooked.  Individuality is very much key.  Most now, keep their own name and bank account after marriage and want to maintain their separateness among certain un-shared friends and nights off.  So, that new person you met at the sports bar last night might not need you at all, just out for a night of fun on their own terms.  Aah  new love. Whatever.