The Wedding

Today I finally recovered from drinking 5 hours of Mimosases while watching the Royal Wedding that started at 5 in the morning yesterday. It was a historic event because a bi-racial American actress got married to an unemployed British prince. It was interesting more than any reality show because she came from a white trash family and a poor Yoga instructor mother and didn’t have any other family attending the most lavish wedding we all would ever see. Now the not so famous actress has a new name. The future king of England walked her down the aisle too, Prince Charles.  Marvelous Meghan Markle and Prince Harry is now the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. He would be closer to being king but his poor brother’s wife keeps getting pregnant and in the last six years popped out three kids that are closer to the throne than Harry could ever be. Even the Queen at age 92 is the longest reigning Queen of England.

A few drinks later and I swore I saw a black choir and an outspoken black preacher in the middle of all these starched stiffed upper lipped British super rich people. Today I realize that it really did happen. It is wedding season anyway and we all want to see a good lavish wedding and the House of Windsor always puts on the best weddings. I felt that it was important to see this one because it will be the last big wedding that British Royalty will put on till those three young children marry in at least 20 years from now. Meghan’s guests included movie star royalty like Oprah, George Clooney, Serena Williams, James Cordon,  Elton John and her cast mates from her TV show called Suits. Left out were every family member she has except for her Mom and every world leader.

She didn’t even choose a Maid of Honor but the prince has his prince older brother William to be best man. But most importantly the Queen of England attended the wedding and paid for the entire event. Usually the bride’s father pays the wedding bills but his story is another story that required a few more early morning cocktails. Her dad, Thomas Markle left her Mom when Meghan was very young yet he was doing photo shoots trying to make six figures from the publicity shoots. Meghan’s half- sister Samantha Markle has been trash talking Meghan for 2 years and she too wants to cash in and write a book called “The Diary of Princess Pushy’s Sister.” Meanwhile she hasn’t seen Meghan for 10 years. You can’t make this stuff up!

The weirdest white trash guy is Meghan’s half-brother Thomas Markle named after her father, had a rap sheet along with his criminal wife. Once he put a gun to someone’s head. He wrote a two page hand written letter that was published in IN Step Magazine trashing Meghan with Dear Prince Harry on top. Now it is all a comedy. Most brother’s wish their sister’s well even if they haven’t spoken for a while. Instead this white trash wrote, “The wedding should be cancelled. That it will be the biggest mistake in history. That Meghan is jaded, shallow and conceited. She will make a joke of royal heritage.” Now it is all very clear why she rather invite her work friends instead of this wacky family to the biggest wedding , her wedding ever.

Most of you will still say who cares about this wedding even though it involved an American but in my early morning haze I still found it refreshing and better than watching another tragic shooting in Texas, an erupting Volcano in Hawaii and Ebola disease in the Congo.