Is it better to have loved and lost to have never loved at all? The poet Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote sometime in the mid 1800’s and we still don’t know the answer to that question either. Why must love be so satisfying but yet so complicated? What about love that has been lost but found again? Is that really possible? Is there hope? A famous example is the life of Diana Hanover who had a very public divorce from New York’s Mayor Giuliani in 2001. It wasn’t her first broken heart. In the 1960’s, her high school boyfriend Ed Oster called it off in their freshman year at Stamford University. In the summer of 2002 as she was still angry over her divorce, Oster gave her a call out of the blue.
He was divorced too and told her he was going to be in town and asked her if she wanted to meet over coffee with him. They took a long walk in Central Park and he apologized for making her cry all those years ago. A year later, they got married. He now calls her his lost treasure that he should have never let go way back then in college. His lost treasure never to be lost again. It is a great story but turns out to not be such an unusual story. According to a study by a California State University Professor, former sweethearts who later meet up in life and are single have a better than 70% chance of getting back together again for good. What is so powerful about love is that you never forget the person. The romantic love circuits can instantly be resurrected again.
Actress Carol Channing, the original actress of Hello Dolly fame said she loved a boy in her middle school class. She went on to become a famous actress and then 70 years later married the man at age 82 he passed away in 2011. Can true love give you longevity in life too? We always hear about the guys who die being a miserable bastard. When actor Fred Savage left his home town to star in the successful TV series The Wonder Years he left his little girl girlfriend. Eleven years later he returned home and married her. Can love really make an imprint on our brain? Seeing that person once again can trigger instant relived romantic feelings. Can the person you are looking for be as close as your high school yearbook? Or the person you have been talking to on line for years?
Facebook has a way of reuniting people from schools you could never find again even if you wanted to. The fear is always there that once you meet again, fall in love yet again that something will go wrong yet again. No one needs to feel foolish twice in a lifetime in the same relationship yet you never want to let them go again. Now patience, forgiveness, humility enter the equation. If you want to see raw emoting just sit in a airport waiting for your flight to arrive and view all the people who say good bye. Some casually with just a wave and then there is the couple that clings to each other’s cloths in the final embrace for who knows how long. You find your own eyes swelling up in tears for them and you don’t even know them. I think love can be sweeter the second time around. The question is how big is full circle.