Thursday, April 25, 2013

Should you be considering adoption if you are considering on having children? Madonna and Angelina Jolie can’t adopt all the children of the world. Hugh Jackman is also a parent of adopted children. Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman, Steven Spielberg, Wanda Sykes. Even Sandra Bullock adopted a child and is not married. Everyone is having international families. Gay and Lesbian couples are adopting in droves. The children need parents even if they have to be adopted by a famous actor or actress or even educated well put together same sex couples.
For many successful women adoption is the right choice simply because by the time a woman has time to think of raising a child she has already had her advanced degrees and spent 15 years establishing herself at a good job. Then she finally gets a chance to look in the mirror at age 45 and realizes she forgot to get married and have those kids when she was fertile.
There are 153 Million orphans around the world in need of adoption. If you want to be a parent and want to have the experience of raising a child in your life you no longer need to go through the traditional routes of having to have a relationship with a partner or the evasiveness to the woman’s body to give birth. There are many children already born that just need a larger hand to hold their hand through a portion of their lives.
We should be grateful that in America it is fairly easy to adopt a child vs. the process in other countries. You will find children as young as two years old just wandering around unattended in the streets of Cambodia and other places in the world yet the rules there are very strict in order for you to legally adopt a child from these places. In Australia it seems to be an anti-adoption culture with all the rules and regulations there.
Hugh Jackman’s wife is Deborra-Lee Furness who adopted 2 children and who is the founder of Adoption-Awareness Week in Australia. The Prime Minister there has issued an apology to his citizens for past unfair practices and rules and regulations in the past regimes in Australia. Historically there, they had forced adoptions. If a woman had a baby out of wedlock the authorities would take their babies away from them. During the Stalin years, Aborigine children were taken away from white parents who wanted to raise them. Children from English lineage were put into institutions and were abused under state care.
Apologies were issued to those three groups and Deborra felt that it was her duty to start speaking out about the unfair practices in Australia. She has adopted her two children from America. Last year there were only about 100 American children adopted to other countries from America. The only reason the Jackman’s were able to adopt was because Deborra established residency here. People can not just come to America and adopt; we have strict laws.
In Australia it can take up to 10 years to get the clearances on adopting children. They prefer foster care there. The government would prefer for the children to wait for their parents to get out of jail or to finish rehabilitation and get off the crack. Even mental issues of the biological parents would be taken care of and waited upon before they let someone else adopt your child. They are just starting to make real changes in Australia now.
Another issue discussed is the issue of transparency. When and if the child should know when he or she was adopted. For some families the issue does not become a curiosity for years for other families that just don’t look alike or are from a single parent or same sex parents, the wanting to know is an issue early on in the family.
Be as open as possible. When they ask questions is when you address the issue. Even as early as 4 years old children could be inquisitive. Let them watch the cartoons about Stewart Little the mouse who the story is about the mouse being adopted. Take away all the secrecy and do not deal with any shame. Enjoy your family what ever family is to you.

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