Names for people matter! I remember when she was having my baby and we knew it was a boy. She wanted to name him Andrew Stanley Serpico.

He can’t have A.S.S. for initials!!!

We were already hoping that he will have a great job that will expect him to have monogrammed shirts and stationary but I don’t care if she loves the name Andrew or that Uncle Stan would be thrilled to have his name handed down to a new generation. He can’t go through life with that name. We had to reconsider other alternatives.

Having to name a baby is no easy task and much consideration and thought should be made to naming a new life in this world. These days there are many alternatives and choices. Have you ever had to name a baby? Probably because about 80% of American women eventually have children and 100% of them have names.

Names matter! The Romans said, Nomen Est Omen in Latin which translates into Name Is Destiny. Recent research from a study called Unfortunate First Names: Effects of Name-Based Relational Devaluation and Interpersonal Neglect ( yes, people get paid to research this stuff) says that people with unfortunate names are more likely to smoke, be less educated and have lower self esteem. I can’t do that to the kid!!

Another study published from the NBER Digest, the (National Bureau of Economic Research ) from September 2003 called Employers’ Replies to Racial Names (I didn’t say it , they did) said that some employers’ are less likely to interview job candidates with black sounding names. So we couldn’t name him Anfroney Jackson.

Boys with feminine names have more discipline problems in school. So, a boy named Sue might want to sue his parents. One study even claimed that people with positive initials like A.C. E. or W.I.N. lived a few years longer than the guy whose monogram spells P.I.G. No wonder name regret is on the rise. This is according to the Parents section of the Huffington Post. It was called Baby Name Regret: More Than Half Of Parents Wish They’d Chosen A Different Name.

Sometimes a name can be too popular or just doesn’t seem to fit the little guys. One hundred years ago the majority of children were chosen from about only 200 possibilities; common names like John or Mary. Now there are books called 100,000 Baby Names by Bruce Lansky or Beyond Ava and Aidan by Linda Rosencrantz & Pamela Redmond Satran. These authors need new names.

Some guidelines have to apply like don’t name a child after yourself. I know family tradition plays into this decision but roman numbers belong after Super Bowls and Popes not your humble name. So stop with the Leroy Johnson III or Mia Hore IV. Let the children have a chance in life.

Trends are for fashion week not your children . If you call out names like Emma or Taylor in a playground you will be bombarded with lots of kids asking, “Did you call me?” So, don’t choose from the most popular names list. And only pick Aaron if you really want him to be first in line if they are going alphabetically in some game site.

Naming someone after fruits or vegetables like Apple or Egg plants is just cruel.

Naming someone after gem stones like Jewel or Coal or Goldie is obnoxious.

Naming someone after surroundings like Sunshine or Night is so hippy. Finally,

Naming someone after a State like Montana and North Dakota is just too generic.

Hey, forget the whole thing and go with just a symbol like the singer guitarist Prince did.